At the Soul Dive Intensive Lisa and I led a few weeks ago Lisa asked everyone to think about a soul lesson that they’ve learned in the last 10 years. I sat with this question for a moment and then was immediately brought to my soul lesson: choosing what’s possible over what’s present.
For most of my life I didn’t even realize that I had a choice. It felt like I was auto-programmed to see what’s present, and nothing more.
By “what’s present” I mean the circumstances and conditions of what is currently happening.
These were the circumstances that I was mostly present to:
- Having had a stroke at age 19, and the fear less than ideal health.
- Being $100,000 in debt from medical bills and student loans.
- Breaking up with every guy I dated and thinking that I would never be in a fulfilling relationship.
- Having a job that paid me just enough to pay the minimum on my bills and treat myself to one nail appointment every 3 weeks.
Subconsciously, I continued to make choices in my life based on these 4 primary conditions that I was present to.
My life view was that I was unhealthy, broke, and forever single.
I perpetuated this cycle again and again by thinking, “Well, this is how it is and there is nothing that I can do about it.”
I thought that I would need a magic wand in order to erase my health history, clear my debt, and find the man of my dreams.
My mind was locked on my current experience of life. I chose (though I didn’t realize it was a choice) what was present again and again.
The more that I made choices from this place, the more I got similar outcomes. It was like I had 4 ingredients, and so long as I was using the same 4 ingredients I had to keep eating the same meal.
And one day a breakthrough occurred. I had let myself have a dream and play with the idea that it could happen “someday.” My cousin, who is an excellent coach, invited me to look at what’s possible.
This was new for me. Possibility? I was fixated on what’s present. It was like her telling me that I didn’t have to keep eating the same meal with the same 4 ingredients because it was possible that I could go to the grocery store and get new ingredients.
I played with this. Choosing what was possible didn’t negate what was present. In fact, I was still worried about my health and just getting by with money, but I no longer had to use those circumstances as my deciding factors.
What I learned is that what’s so is what’s so, and it doesn’t have to inform what I chose.
Possibility meant that I could be just barely paying my bills AND choose to invest in myself.
Possibility meant that it could be true that I had a stroke AND decide to sign up for a 10k run.
Possibility meant that I could have the history of breaking up with all the guys I had dated AND be in a vulnerable, loving relationship with my current partner.
As I started to choose what was possible (bringing new ingredients into my life) I was then having new experiences (new dishes I hadn’t known about.)
Here is the three step formula that I use to choose what’s possible over what’s present:
- Connect with my soul’s desire.
- Decide that I will choose that even though I don’t know how.
- Take the first step towards making it happen, not worrying about what any of the other steps will be.
The key is not getting wrapped up in trying to figure out how. How and what’s present are directly linked. Choosing outside of that old pattern, into what’s possible requires not knowing the how and taking inspired action one step at a time.
Work through these three steps today to create a new experience for yourself. Share the first inspired action that you take.